For better or worse, we live in an era where social media in not just prevalent, it is ubiquitous. Despite many positives, social media, unfortunately, provides permanent evidence of what people do, say, feel, believe, and experience in their day-to-day lives. Often times, it is not mere rainbows, ice cream cones, and backyard soccer games.
Ideally, my clients would delete social media before they file for divorce, keep it inactive the entirety of the divorce proceeding, and, maybe reclaim their profiles a few years later. But, oh well.
If, after this, you feel compelled to continue actively using your social media profiles during your divorce, my professional and personal advice would be:
- DO NOT post any pictures, stories, tweets, or comments of you with other potential dates, romantic partners, paramours, or suitors.
- DO NOT post anything controversial (and, yes, for these purposes, we’re going old dinner party rules in leaving sex, religion, and politics in the don’t post silo).
- DO NOT post anything about your current spouse or the divorce. The only exception here is if you and your current spouse expressly agree to make a brief, joint post/announcement on social media to friends, family, and others. Nothing more.
- DO NOT post anything related to drinking (even social drinking), drugs or excessive partying or nighttime misadventures (even if legal).
- DO NOT post about your shared children in any way that could appear as slighting, boxing out, or in any way putting the children in the middle of the divorce.
Let me be clear – my advice is not meant to infringe upon your right to live your life freely and independently. It is, rather, to ensure you do not provide ammunition to your soon-to-be-ex and their attorney to make a mountain out of a mole hill for any little thing; I assure you they will be looking. This is also for the benefit of your children – do you want them (or their friends) seeing anything about you or your soon-to-be-ex regarding this private, sensitive, and ongoing family matter? Of course not.
Post something political – Your current spouse may argue you will try to radicalize/politicize the child.
Post with another man/woman – Your current spouse will say “Who is this? Were you with them during our marriage?” or “I can’t trust them with the kids, who knows who they even hang out with or bring around.”
Post something about your current spouse or the divorce they don’t like – Your current spouse and their lawyer will argue you are bad-mouthing and harming their reputation.
Post at 1:00AM holding drinks at a bar? Current spouse’s lawyer will argue you are more concerned with partying and being out than creating a suitable home life for your children.
Does all this sound far-fetched, ridiculous, or sensational? Welcome to the world of family law and divorce.
Living (or at least appearing to live) a private, uneventful life during your divorce will, I promise, save you from a great deal of headaches and scrutiny.
If you have any questions on this or any other family law and divorce issues, please contact us.